False Advertising?

Meme Header: Sinful Sunday

So this is one is a tough one. I’ve ummed and ahhed about posting this, bottled it and chosen a different image five times over, but… that defeats the purpose of having this blog and actually facing some of these things. You see, I’m not body confident. At best, I’m body ‘meh’ (other than my boobs; I think they’re pretty cracking) and if I send underwear selfies to anyone, I take lots and I mean lots of pictures until I’m tolerant of what I’ve got.

My mother always hassled and harangued me about my weight and, if I recall correctly, tried to get me on Slimfast when I was 16. She’s small and slender and we don’t share the same build at all. But she’s also insecure about herself and instead of telling me I’m beautiful as I am and then supporting me, she’s always undermined how I felt about myself. She and I are different but she doesn’t celebrate it; she tries to mould me into being another her.

It’s taken a LONG time to work all this out and it’s why I’m ‘meh’ now, rather than hating my body. Yet I still pick different bits out that I dislike or want to change or wish were different or… or… or… Basically, I still have a way to go.

And it’s why I send selfies; it’s admittedly external validation, but the comments I receive force me to view myself through others’ eyes, if just for a fleeting moment. And in the moment, I feel good and positive and don’t have to criticise.

I’ve worked out how to stand, how to hold my stomach in, the angle with which to best hold the camera, how to use the timer to give myself an extra couple of seconds to pose.

And whoever the recipient of the final image(s) is, they never know the thoughts that run through my head as I look through what I’ve taken, delete them and start again.

So, why false advertising? What’s the problem? I think that only sending the best photos is a form of false advertising, like I’ll be judged for it when whoever it is sees me in the flesh. And my head knows that’s absolute bullshit but I am yet to truly believe it.

So, in my favourite (though only really flattering if you look at how they cover my arse) panties, I give you a small selection of my thought process.

Exhibit A (Full side-on view):

1. Not trying to pose, 2. Not quite the right angle or timing and 3. Yeah, I guess that’ll do; my stomach looks as good as it’s ever going to…

Exhibit B (Semi side-on view):

1. Not trying to pose, 2. Stick the leg out, pull in stomach and tilt camera down but it’s not quite the right angle and 3. Yup, bit of cleavage, the right angle, that’ll have to do…

Exhibit C (Full front view):

1. Not trying to pose, 2. Stick the leg out, pull in stomach, hoik boobs and tilt camera down but it’s not quite the right angle and the bra looks gappy and 3. Bit too much tummy but hopefully the boobs will distract ’em

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15 thoughts on “False Advertising?

  1. I know I do this too, I think we all do and I don’t actually think there is anything wrong with celebrating and enjoying the ‘best’ bits of our bodies especially if that process makes us feel good/happy/sexy etc. I don’t think there is anything wrong is crafting an image that makes you feel hot and sexy.

    As for these, I think they are all gorgeous but my favourite is the bottom left image, I think it shows off the lovely curve of your waist and there is just something about it that I find sensual


  2. Just…

    *slow clap*

    I can relate, and I love that you put this out there.

    I agree with your “false advertising” assessment, yet I know – realistically – that it’s a matter of wanting to present our “best” just like we would in every other situation that opens us to others’ judgments (dating, family events, job interviews… the list is never-ending).

    I found myself *nodnodnod*ing to your thoughts below each ‘take’. My mental process is very similar, and I tend to delete 25 selfies for every one I keep. As for sending? Well, that’ll be at least another 25 more tries…

    You’re not alone. xoxo

    Oh, and P.S.

    You’re LOVELY.

  3. It is incredibly grave to put images out there that you don’t like…well done you! False advertising is something we all do, I don’t think there’s many people out there that love every little bit of them. As for the damage that mothers do, even unintentionally, I know that only too well *sigh.

  4. The best pic (IMO) is C3, but only because the cleavage is missing from C2.
    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a whole bunch of selfies and choosing the best one. We’re always told first impressions count so it makes sense to choose the most flattering pic. Besides, when we meet people in person we get the full picture immediately so a selfie is just a teaser.
    If any woman worries it’s ‘false advertising’ then I presume they don’t wear lipstick or any other make-up either, otherwise they’re hypocrites.
    You look great BTW, and I’m sorry your mother wasn’t evolved enough to get over her own insecurities. I’m glad you haven’t tried to live your life by her rules.
    And since I’m rambling… I once took a dozen dick pics until I found one that didn’t make me look tiny! (By which time I’d sobered up enough to know not to send it!!)

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