Last week and in celebration of my 40th birthday this month, I wrote a retrospective list. And then I thought, “fuck it,” I’ll write a looking forward list. Also, now referred to in my head as my “fuckit” list, which is surprisingly apt.
The list is a little disordered, as I scribbled things down as they occurred:
- Continuing the huge strides I’ve made with my body confidence and self-belief.
- Keep on setting my expectations high and not compromising. I’m worth more than that.
- Exploring my non-het urges, should opportunity arise.
- Find a poly dynamic that works for everyone involved, if/when I find someone else I want to get involved with.
- And within that, find a D/s dynamic that works for me and within a poly setup.
- Find play partners who I can trust to shatter me into a thousand pieces and put me back together again in a session.
- Explore my submissive side with someone who’ll push me but keep me safe.
- Following on from that: Being made to wear a buttplug/clit clamp/nipple clamps/no knickers in public.
- Or subtle public play e.g. someone hurting me using pressure points.
- Be used whilst tied over a coffee table (blame Tumblr!).
- Have someone use remote controlled toys on me. There are many scenarios for both this and the coffee table thing.
- Skype sex.
- Mile high club.
- Anal sex, again.
- MFM threesome.
- Double penetration (two men).
- Being made to watch TSH having sex with someone else.
- Do a naked photo shoot.
- Find out what a whip feels like.
Sunbathe naked on a beach.
- Explore edging, orgasm control and denial.
- Being in a position where I really beg. I’ve never been in quite that position before. Close, but not quite there.
- Blow jobs: be able to swallow/take more without either panicking or my twitchy gag reflex kicking in.
- Visit more kink/fetish events. Play at some of those. I loved the little public play that I’ve done.
- Being at a kink event on a collar and lead; I’m curious as to what that level of ownership, even if for one night, will do to my head.
- Lots more rope and hard bondage. It’s totally freeing for my mind.
- Wear clothes that make me feel sexy more: my corsets, hold-ups, actually break those suspenders out of their packaging!
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