Vanilla and Kink as a Baseline

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TSH read my Vanilla, Kink and Filthy Sex blog post and it triggered a few discussion points for us. He started off by saying that anal sex isn’t filthy in his mind, but normal.

Digging deeper, he watched a lot of porn whilst he was single and anal featured so heavily in this, that he doesn’t see it as any different than PIV sex in terms of my vanilla/kink/filth categorisation.

And Marie in her comments on that post wrote, “I think what one person finds filthy, might just be perfectly normal for the next one (up to a point of course).”

Both people’s comments, were of course what I was clumsily trying to get across.

Thinking about it more though, I guess it raises questions in terms of baseline – my default is kinker; it releases me from the pressures of my brain and simplifies my world right down. I don’t have to think, just act on instinct. Take someone who has vanilla as their baseline, but likes some kinky play and their instinct is going to be vanilla. Anything else will require a bit more thought and therefore not be as simple.

Both of us, if talking together about having a nice, easy fuck will be thinking about the same outcome, but our journey to that will be different. And the language of labelling it ‘vanilla’ or ‘kink’ just doesn’t work.

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