Navigating Sex

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This week’s TMI Tuesday is all about navigating sex. I have a common theme in this: communication.

1. How do you gauge the success of your romantic relationships?

Connection. Communication. Respect. Honesty. Embracing each other’s weirdness. Mutual support and cheerleading. Tea-making ability.

2. How often do you prefer to talk about sex with your lover?

Whenever it feels right. There’s no preference but we’re pretty much in tune in this regard.

3. During sex, what is your top priority?

Pleasure and connection. Orgasms are great but not an endpoint or even essential.

4. What advice would you like to give your partner to be a better lover? Are you afraid to give that advice?

I’m a lot more open about what I want these days. I’ve learnt it’s the best way to have better sex. And I expect/would like the same in return.

5. While in the moment of having sex, what is the best way you like to receive feedback from a lover that they are enjoying or are not enjoying sex?
a. moans and groans
b. tell me in dirty talk
c. give me direction or be explicit
d. just fuck, tell me later if it was good for you

All of a, b and c. D sounds like it’s fucking for the sake of it. Whilst that has its place, I’d rather have a mutual enjoyable experience.

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2 thoughts on “Navigating Sex

  1. Like your responses. I think I have said here before, I am just now starting to “Date” after my wife died three years ago. We were together 59 years. While sex is not my objective, I suppose it is it the back of my mind. I am listed on a “dating site” and my profile as well as most of the females I have communicated with states we are only interested in friendship not a long term, committed relationship. I am learning “friendship” is a very broad term with different meaning to different people. I want to be open but at the same time not say something that could be taken wrong. I did not have this problem 60 years ago. I have met three very nice women and we get along. So far so good.

    1. It’s a minefield isn’t it? TSH and I are just working on our dating profiles and it really is like learning a new language and managing expectations. I do have a FetLife profile, which is easier as I can be much more explicit.

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